I hate June…the month full of crappy thoughts. Lately I’ve been Miss Pissed-off always. It’s as if happy thoughts are nil in my mind, and happy events can not occur. Thank God for people who, at least even for a second, can make me feel at peace with myself. Last Saturday, my family (father’s side) had our annual swimming trip. Being the water baby that I am, I was surprised at myself that I was not that excited about it. I just swam for an hour or two, max. Good thing Ate Ivy was there. As usual, we locked ourselves in one room and had a blast talking about anything under the sun. I knew she was always there for me, but lately, I’ve been noticing that we are getting much closer with each other. She was exactly what I needed: someone who appreciates me come crappy thoughts and bad mood. She is one of the few (unfortunate ones?) who knows what really is happening with my life. She was there while the world was getting drunk, and when this LOSER made his damn presence known. He is the reason why I will never watch Starwars. (haha.)
Maybe I should get Loneliness Management. My thoughts are getting bleaker and bleaker as the moments pass. Lately I’m excited to plan my own….(!gasp!) funeral. (What the?!?!?) While in church, I scribbled in the mass guide who I’d want to deliver their eulogies for me. FREAKY. Somehow the thought of my loved ones crying over my loss seem very appealing to me right know. (Someone should poke my head right now). If ever, I want it to be in white and fuschia. I originally wanted everyone (my family, my cousins, and my friends whom I consider close) to say something about the memories we’ve shared, but I figured it be too long and be boring. So I decided on these people instead:
My dad (I’ll spare my mom. I know she has stage fright)
All my sibs (I can’t eliminate one. I have to hear them ALL.)
Tita Dy (I haven’t seen her for the longest time and I miss her so.)
Ate Joy and Maiya (to bring forth laughter to my guests)
Abby (always a staple, the closest person to the person)
For those who care to read, I am not suicidal. Repeat. I am not suicidal. I am just bluer than the bluest blue.
P.S. Es tut meir leid for the uber boring skin. I can't find one that i like. Bear with it.
